Life as Transformation: I am one… I am free

HONHONDOUI (LITTLE BELLS) – It is October 2016 when I feel I ‘must’ be in Mongolia in summer time 2017. It is as if Mongolia’s immense nature calls me. I also sense a strong interest in Shamanism in myself that was not there before.

I express this and from there the process starts towards the actual happening in July 2017: a 20-day’s journey in West-Mongolia, which is a relatively unknown and rough area connecting Kazakhstan, Russia and China. It is called a ‘pioneer trip’: very basic conditions, minimum facilities, unpredictable circumstances, bad (no) roads…. Main required personal characteristics: positivism and flexibility.

Meeting a shaman is not planned as part of the trip. (A shaman is a person who acts as the intermediary between the physical and spiritual worlds, generally to heal illness and resolve spiritual or energetic problems). But when I am in Mongolia, the thought of meeting one keeps returning in my mind. After a few days, I express the wish to experience authentic shamanism. I notice I don’t want to force anything to make it happen. I know it will happen if and as meant to be.

When we arrive from the mountains in a village a few days later our great tour guide Puggi starts acting on my wish. He calls some friends in the capital city Ulaanbaatar. From there a chain of people is formed: one calls the other calls the other….and after a few hours we hear that there is 1 shaman in the village, who is also willing to receive us that evening.

The shaman is receiving us in his ger (or yurt, which is traditional housing in Mongolia). He dresses up in his traditional clothing and is blind folded with a mask on his face. This is to highlight the difference between the physical and spiritual body. The ceremony starts with drumming, which brings the shaman in connection with the Spirit that chooses to be there today. A few moments later I am invited to sit with ‘him’: the Spirit of an old man.

After I am invited to share what I would like, I ask ‘him’ – the Spirit – to connect to me. He takes my hand. The moment he does that I feel a flow of intense energy going through my body and beyond. I have experienced this sensation many times before…but on my own… in the safe space of my room in Ghana and one time on the land in the village Karimenga.

When I express what I feel, he says that “I have the same energy in me as he and that I am not normal”. As in: I am different compared to most people. Then he tells me what he senses (writing his words from you into I, helps me to integrate and accept his words as my being):

….I have a very wide aura and a big Heart.
I have a white, purified Soul.
There is mainly positive energy and hardly negative in me.
I am protected.
The positive energy also means that in the case someone does harm me, that person will receive the negative instead of me.
I feel a lot. And it is very important for me that I share what I feel.
I should not fear all that I feel, but have faith in it.
I can forefeel and foresee the future.
I must share what is in my Golden Heart. That is destined….

I receive every word and know all he says is true. But I am still learning to accept it. To accept me in all that I am. A lot of the times I don’t know what to do with it…. with who I truly am….

I ask for guidance.

He tells me that:
I must continue following my Heart and continue feeling.
The energy in me will grow and become stronger.
I don’t need to search for it, it will come to me.
I need to have patience and wait.
This is very important and he repeats this again when he says that I will reach my dream …..

The Spirit hands over some gifts to support me and he gives me a name: Honhondoui. The meaning of this name is ‘Little Bells’. He explains that little bells are put on the shoes of children. It gives them free space to move, but prevents them from getting lost: the sound is telling parents where they are. With me carrying this name he will always know where I am and connect to me. Little Bells are also a symbol of happiness and I will share happiness wherever I go.

He is convinced that he will meet a more powerful me again, in the future. He expresses that he would like me to learn the language of Mongolia, so that he can communicate with me directly (we are now communicating with two translators). He still has a lot more to discuss with me…

Two days later I am just standing in stillness looking at the sunset. I feel how something takes over…. My body starts moving on its own… I allow it to happen… I surrender… A perfect merge between inner and outer energy… In this one moment, my whole life journey falls in place and finally makes sense…

“White Skin. Black Heart. ONE SPIRIT – How Africa helped me to become a free Human Being” ….

I am ONE… I am FREE…

Thank you,
Guiding team for leading us through your beautiful, powerful and authentic Mongolia. It has been an amazing adventure far beyond the ordinary, cultivated world I have never really fit in. in collaboration with (Ayan Travel Mongolia)

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